the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
