You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
