Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
