dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize