We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
