THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize