My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
