weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
