Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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