Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize