I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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