What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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