It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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