All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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