I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
