so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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