Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
