fuck your aforementioned shoe
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
