you would pick up someone in the library
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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