So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
