I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
