ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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