Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
