is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize