I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
im on a boat
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