Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Small penises have feelings too.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
