she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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