arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
