Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize