he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
