I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
