hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
