I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
try to milk me bitch
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
