I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
