I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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