and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
