apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
