i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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