Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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