I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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