Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
