i think my mom watched the whole time
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
