What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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