I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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