when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
