Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
