Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
