Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
