p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
