Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
