There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
