So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
4 words: hood of his car
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
