dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
