I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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