She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
