O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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